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A Tale of Three Heroes: Chapter Two

Note: this is a first draft. The only editting done is for typos/spelling errors.
***

 

 

Breakfast in the royal castle was usually a peaceful affair. The prince and princess, both being teenagers, rarely put in an appearance before eleven, which meant it was just king Henry and his wife. Henry spent the meal buried in the morning post, whil Merlina was content to enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasted.
    This morning however, she was shaken out of her revery as the king suddenly choked on his coffee, sending a good amount of it spraying across the table.
    “I don’t believe it! Is there nothing the buggers won’t stoop to?”
    Merlina sighed.
    “What have they done this time?”
    “They’ve only gone and burnt down an entire neighbourhood,” said Henry, wiping coffee off the remaining letters. “Well, when they were caught they said they’d only meant to torch the one house, but it got out of hand. As if that makes it all right.” He glared at the offending parchment. “Did they say why they’ve started burning down property?” Merlina asked.
    “Unsurprisingly, no. But I’d bet anything it was meant to look like an accident. It was one of those neighbourhoods tagged for ‘development’. You know the story. Whoops, there goes your home, what a shame. You may as well sell up now.”
    He gave the leter one final glower before tossing it onto the ‘read’ pile.
    “Those heroes had better get here soon.”

 

“Come on, the coach driver won’t hang around forever.”
    “Coming, coming. Just looking for my crossbow bolts.”
    LD sighed impatiently. It was always the same. Every single mission started with Angel searching frantically for one last essential supply. If it wasn’t weaponry, then her food for the journey went walk about. On one memorable occasion she had even managed to mislay her entire uniform, boots, cape and all.
    The sound of hooves made her turn back to the road again, where the coach was just setting off, with Tommy running desperately after it. At the same moment a cry of “got it!” from inside the house announced that the missing bolts had surfaced. “Come on,” urged LD again. Angel slung her knapsack on her back, slammed the door and stuffed the keys into their hiding place, before sprinting after LD towards the disappearing coach.
    From the bushes a figure watched the two girls racing down the road. He shrugged. It beat him what they were so scared about. They seemed like a bunch of hopeless amateurs to him. The one who lived here hadn’t even grasped basic security. Anyone who had spotted her ‘hiding’ the keys only had to stroll up and fish them out.
    Which is exactly what he intended doing. After all, it was much easier than breaking in. He stood up and checked one last time that he had all the boobie traps. Even if they were lucky enough to succeed, he’d make sure that this one at least would not do so again. Pausing only to make sure the coast was clear, the intruder made his way over to the garden gnome where the keys had been so clumsily hidden and reached down.
    Birds flew up in panic as a gigantic explosion rent the air. Slowly, the smoke cleared, leaving nothing but a crater and, presumably, and aweful lot of paperwork for someone. Looking stupid is not always the same as being stupid.

 

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Posted by on Tuesday 2 June 2015 in Fantasy, First Draft, Humour, Novel length

 

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A Tale of Three Heroes: Chapter One

Note: this is a first draft. The only editing done is for typos/spelling errors.
***

 

 

The sun blazed down from a cloudless sky. In the fields and hedges nothing stirred. Even the liveliest woodland critter had succumbed to the heat.
The silence was broken by heavy footsteps and the tinkling of chains. Round a bend in the road came what at first glance appeared to be an occult jewellery display on legs. Closer inspection however revealed a slim dark haired girl dressed from head to toe in black. At least, what was visible under the silver had definite midnight tones. Alongside her gambled a large grey wolf. Occasionally it would pause, sniff hopefully at the bushes, then continue on, seemingly disappointed. “I’m afraid it’s too hot for happy little bunny rabbits to be hopping around for you to chase,” said the dark figure, who was evidently the animals owner. “I’m sure Angel will let you have a nice run around in her garden. Plenty of things to chase up trees there.”

 

Not a leaf stirred as LD strolled under the arch into Angel’s neighbourhood and up the drive to the first house. She hoped her friend would be awake. Still, it was after noon and even Angel had been known to rise early if it was hot enough.
She gave the knocker a few good thumps. She barely had time to step back before the door opened and something wet and gloopy was flung at her.
“Well, that’s not a very nice way to greet your best friend.”
“What?”
Angel blinked. Then recognition dawned.
“Ah. Er… Sorry… I thought it was someone else,” she said sheepishly. “Hang on a sec.” She turned and routed around on a table just behind her, producing a role of parchment which she held up for LD to read.
“Blimey! Are they allowed to do that?”
Angel shrugged.
“According to them. Anyway, this says someone would be coming round to ‘discuss’ the matter with me, so when I heard the knocking I sort of assumed it was them.” “And you thought you’d open negociations by throwing the remains of your breakfast over them?” inquired LD. Angel gave her a look.
“Who said anything about negociating? Nobody’s building any road over my back garden.”
“Well it’s not actually the entire garden.”
Angel glared.
“That’s not the point. It’s still mine. And I like it.”
LD glanced over her shoulder.
“I think that’s them coming now. I’ll just nip out the back and clean up in the pond and um… leave you to it.”

 

She left Angel looking round for a suitable porridge substitute with which to surprise the visitor and ambled through the kitchen into the garden, Sheena following eagerly. A frog gave her a curious stare as she slid into the water, before hopping off to do whatever it was frogs did in their spare time. Voices drifted to her from the open windows. Well, so far so good, there was no shouting yet, at least.
LD could see why her friend was rather severely miffed at the thought of possibly losing all this. Angel was a great believer in leaving nature to do it’s thing, and here at least, that seemed to have worked marvelously. Around her frogs went lazily about their froggy business. On the opposite side of the pond, a row of ducks lay stretched out, heads under their wings, contentedly sunbathing. Flowers grew randomly and chaoticly around the endge of the lawn. The whole thing gave you the feeling of being in some forest glade somewhere. LD half expected a deer to come wandering out of the bushes.
The tranquility was shattered by the sound of smashing glasswear from the house, followed by a stream of amazingly colourful language. LD whistled. She hadn’t heard Angel use those words in a long while. “Should we…” she began uncertainly. Sheena whined, got up and made her way round to the far side of the pond where she cowered behind a bush. “Probably best to let them sort it out themselves,” LD agreed.

 

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Posted by on Tuesday 26 May 2015 in Fantasy, First Draft, Humour, Novel length

 

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