Noodles of Doom

14 Jun

“Go on, do it again!”
    There was another burst of drunken laughter as Marion waved the feather duster dramatically. “O Lord of darkness, with this feather duster of doom I do summon thee,” she cried. “See how the noodles of evil dance in thy honour!” She had to stop at this point as she was overcome with hysterical giggling.
    Dan hauled himself to his feet and positioned himself opposite his drinking companion. “Halt, thou worshipper of all things evil!” he shouted. “With this… Biro…” Another burst of laughter “…I will drive thee back into the pits of Hades were thou belongest!”
    “Stop it!” exclaimed Linda. “I’m nearly wetting myself here.” The two performers slumped back onto their chairs as yet more vodka was poured out. Outside the run-down barn the wind whistled mournfully threw the cracks and knotholes. “Core, listennesat,” Martin slurred. “Sas proper Hallween weather thassis.” There was more drunken sniggering. “You think Dracula’ll turn up?” somebody asked. “Nah, got done in, dinnee,” somebody else answered. “Yeah, but whabou ghos,” said Martin. “They’re sposebe all active ‘n stuff at Hallween.” 
    Pulling himself to his feet, he raised his arms and began lurching drunkenly around the barn making woo woo noises. This prompted another fit of laughter from his companions. “See! The evil one walks among us!” yelled Marion, jumping to her feet and brandishing the feather duster and plastic cup of instant noodles once more. “Speak, oh evilest of evil ones and let us know thy wish!” “My wish… my wish is…” began Martin.”Another drink!”
    Everyone cheered and several people downed the remainder of theirs in one to join him. There was a brief silence as drinks were swigged and crisps were munched on. Finally someone asked: “But seriously, is there such a thing’s ghosts?” there was a chorus of ‘nah’ and ‘don’t be stupid’. “If there was then something’d have turned up by now,” commented Marion. “I mean, we summoned it, didn’t we?” Dan snorted.
    “Yeah right, with the feather duster of doom and the noodles of evil.”
    “And bloody good noodles they were too,” said Martin and let out a colossal belch.

“Hey, is it me or is it getting colder in here?” somebody asked at length. In the group’s current state, this should have prompted a comment along the lines of ‘you need another drink to warm you up.’ But everyone felt the change in temperature now. At the same moment a cloud drifted across the moon, blocking its silvery rays which up til then had been lighting the barn through a skylight.
    The shadows suddenly seemed much darker and somehow threatening. “Come on, it’s just a cloud blocking the moonlight,” said Dan, trying to sound nonchalant. There was a soft creaking from somewhere near the door and then several people screamed.
    In the middle of the ever deepening, ever lengthening shadows two glowing red eyes had appeared. Slowly the shadows massed together around these eyes into a huge, hulking, impenetrable darkness that flowed towards the terrified drinkers, engulfing them. The shrieks of fear turned to screams of agony, then choked gurgling and finally silence.
    Slowly the dark mass retreated back to the corner where it had originated. As it did so the glowing eyes travelled malevolently over the scene in the now silent barn. All that was left of the drunken merrymaking were cooling puddles of melted glass and piles of bleached bones. Before fading into the night, the eyes lingered for a moment on the two items that seemed out of place in the horrendous scene. A half melted plastic cup, out of which protruded a noodle, and a single, slightly scorched feather.

Prompt: write a horror scene (or something horrific) using a wet noodle, a styrofoam cup and a feather.

Copyright © Rainbow

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Posted by on Sunday 14 June 2015 in Flash fiction, Horror, Humour


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